Week 34, The Storm Before The Calm?

Even though my kids aren't old enough to be in school just yet, I feel like part of me still operates on a traditional school calendar.  The last couple of weeks in August are always a big "gear up" time for me.  Maybe part of it this year really is that I am aware I only have 2 more years until Tommy will be in school.  In any event, we found ourselves discussing lots of decisions this week.  I am a planner--for better or worse.  I don't operate well when things are left hanging or up in the air.  So, this week it seemed a little chaotic as we were trying to make some major decisions that will hopefully create a sense of calmness into the future.

Probably at the top of the list has been to move or not to move.  And, if we do try to move, what is our price  limit?  This topic has been an ongoing one in our house for a couple of years now.  We really like our house, and we got a phenomenal price for it 5 years ago.  We only have 10 more years left on our mortgage, and the house is plenty large for our family.  The cons would be that it is far away from both our church and Davey's work, and it has a very small backyard.  As I'm sure it is in most families, I had previously wanted to move up to bigger and better things, while Davey was very content in staying here and paying our home off!  So, I decided that I would just see what it would cost to build a very reasonable "dream home".  I sent my favorite floor plan to my friend Bob Donalson, a local contractor, to see what it would look like to build this dream house of mine.  Shocking...utterly shocking!!  This house is literally 300 square feet bigger than our current home.  Granted, the lot would be better and there would be an unfinished basement, but the low-end estimate was over $200,000 MORE than our current home!  I ran some numbers anyway, and in the end, we just could not bring ourselves to add years and/or significant money to our current mortgage.  Like I said, we do like our house, and we feel like we've made it a very nice home for our family.  As Davey has said numerous times, "It's not about the house, it's about the people and environment inside of the house."  I married a wise man :)  So, for now, our plan is to stay here, and potentially build a retaining wall in the back to create a small backyard.  There is also a small chance of us trying to move within Fuquay for a better lot, but not spending any more than our current house.  The flexibility that decision will allow us into the future is invaluable to us.  Our goal is to have no house payment at all by the time Tommy enters Middle School!  Okay, that's one decision down!

The next decision was centered around how best to prepare the boys for future schooling.  We cannot currently afford any type of daycare or MMO program, so I wanted to try to create a similar environment here.  I did quite a bit of research this week, and I'm happy to say that I think we are well on our way to a pretty awesome little "preschool" playroom space--you'll get to see the finished product and hear updates on how it's going next blog!  I am a huge believer in letting kids be kids, particularly before they start school. Of course,  I want them to be prepared to start school when the time comes, but I also don't want them to miss out on just being kids and playing!  That said, both boys seem to be really enjoying learning lately, so I definitely want to cultivate that in a fun way.  Anyway, you'll likely see more pictures and/or updates on what the boys are doing and learning during "school time"--can you believe Tommy called it that all on his own?!

Sorry for the lack of pictures this week.  I was so busy trying to prepare things, that I forgot it a couple of times.  Couple that with the fact that when I finally did remember it when we went to the park, it ran out of batteries after these couple of pictures!

Don't judge me!  They're wearing their PJ's because we were trying to beat the rain!!

My little captive doesn't seem too distressed by his prison :)

After several weeks of missing therapy due to vacation, illness, and the fact that we've had to move to every other week because we're running out of sessions for 2012, Tommy was finally able to go back this week!!  Mrs. Emily was proud of the progress he had made over the past month, and now we're really focusing on some more fine motor items, namely writing/coloring!  We're now fairly certain that the big guy is actually left handed, despite the fact that he throws right handed!  But, really--doesn't Tommy just seem like a leftie?!  Oh yeah, a huge development (to me only I'm sure haha)--Tommy ate homemade whole wheat banana blueberry and whole wheat zucchini muffins this week--waaaahooooo!!!  Anyway, after therapy was my favorite of all Wednesdays--you got it--the double dip!!  I dropped the boys off with Goggi, Grandpapa, and Grandmama and headed home to start planning that preschool!  By the time we picked them up from Grandma's house later on that evening, the plan was set!  Thanks again to both sets of Grandparents for all of the times you help us out--we definitely appreciate every second!

On that same celebratory note, a very Happy Anniversary to my parents, Tom and Linda Hayes on Friday.  They finally carved out some time for themselves and went on a dinner date to celebrate 38 years together (I think?)!  Friday was also my friend Marcia's birthday--I'm not giving a number out on this one though!  I was so thankful to be able to celebrate with her on Sunday after church.  We went to Mellow Mushroom, and it was AMAZING!!  I got this pizza with steak, mushrooms, artichokes, feta, and kalamata olives.  It might not sound like a great combo, but it was unbelievable!!  Now, Sunday was actually my "sister" Laura's birthday! I know, ANOTHER party weekend :)  We all did our traditional Hayes dinner celebration on Saturday night, and Laura came over Sunday night for our weekly 'Drop Dead Diva' viewing!  Despite the horrid fact that Kim Kardashian made another appearanace on the show, it was a good birthday episode.  The next episode is the Season Finale--NOOOOOOOO!!!!   Check out these sweet pics from Aunt LoLo's birthday dinner!

Laura and Mom in festive spirits!

This was so adorable..Tommy wanted to surprise Granddaddy when he got home from work!

"SURPRISE!!"...so precious <3

Putting the birthday girl to work!!

Uncle NoNo is a happy camper for LoLo's birthday :)

Aunt LoLo's selection for her birthday cake--Nutter Butter Banana Pudding--YUMMM!!

Hey, whose birthday is it, anyway?!

Aunt LoLo couldn't resist sharing her big moment with  Tommy!
Also, I LOVE Laura's chic "blowing out candles look"--bahahahaha!!

HOOOORAYYY!!  Good times were had by all :)

So, Life Lesson #9:  Priorities

In this day and age (I sound so old don't I??), there are so many decisions to be made.  We live in a culture of opportunity, and with opportunity comes choice.  It can be both a blessing and a curse.  Because while it is nice to have options, I believe that it becomes harder to prioritize as your options increase.  It is a very thin line.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard people after coming back from a mission trip to a third world country say, "They didn't have anything, but they all seemed genuinely happy and at peace."  At the other end of the spectrum, you hear this quite a bit too, "They had more money and things than anyone could ever want or use, but they weren't happy and lived a lonely life."  Here's my theory--you truly cannot have it all.  You have to figure out your priorities and then make your choices accordingly.  Sacrifices have to be made somewhere, so make sure you are mindfully choosing what you are willing to go without.  My advice is to choose relationships--relationship with God, relationship with family, relationship with friends, and building new relationships through service.  All of these things take time, and time is quite precious.  There are many adversaries that compete with relationships, but none more so than wealth.  Money is not inherently bad.  It is just super difficult to not fall in love with it and become greedy and covetous.  The book of Ecclesiastes, thought to have been written by King Solomon--the richest and wisest man ever to live, does a much better job of discussing what has true meaning in this life than I ever could.  And, even though he was the richest man in the world, riches did not make the cut:  "Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.  This too is meaningless.  As goods increase, so do those who consume them.  And what benefit are they to the owners except to feast their eyes on them?  The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep."  If Solomon's words are not enough to convince you, here it is from the mouth of Jesus, "You cannot serve both God and money....what people value highly is detestable in God's sight."  This is a world that puts wealth, status, and fame at the top of its priority list.  Be different--value God, and value people. Make your choices such that you will have ample time and energy to devote to building relationships.  

Week 33, The Dreaded Post-Vacation Hangover

Okay, blah blah blah...I'm late again (not totally my fault this time as we were completely without internet for 3 LONGGGGGG days!!).  So, anyway, as I'm sure you can gather from the title, it wasn't the most productive week here.  I spent the vast majority of the week wallowing in a state of wanting more--more time, more money, more vacation, etc.  On top of my poor attitude, we all kind of had a little tummy bug floating around the house.  Basically, I was a pretty boring Mom for the first half of the week--thank God my Mom watched them on Wednesday so they could have a little fun!!  I finally got my act together a little by Friday, and I took the boys to Hit & Run for a little baseball practice :)  

Ethan had to wear his "cow" shirt...ehem...Durham Bulls that is :)

Go Tommy Go!!

Tommy asked for a helmet all by himself

Good hit tooter!

Granddaddy is tickled at Tommy because he put his helmet on backwards and couldn't see!

Batter up!

Ethan went for the red helmet, naturally!

Then, on Saturday, my parents invited us all over for a "basketti" dinner and some pool time for the little guys!  

Davey acting like a Monster....

Ethan was happy to "Roaaarrrr" back at Daddy with his Lion towel!

Peek-a-boo through the tunnel!

Okay, check out this series of six Davey photos--that's my crazy husband!! 

It all starts just fine....

but then he gets cocky...

and, then he gets silly....

and then he gets an attitude!

Now he's threatening me!!

Ahhh, there's my funny man!

Thanks for the free food Mom!!

 

Poor Tommy got his Mommy's hatred of bugs flying around him :(

Honey Badger don't care though!

CHEEEEEEEESSSEEE!!

Grandma toweling off our little lion <3

Tommy loves hanging with Uncle NoNo!

Somebody's sleepy from his pool workout!

It was raining, so sorry for the "smudged" effect, but  I had to take a picture of thug Tommy--he put the hat on like that by himself!  Doesn't he look like he's trying to tell the paparazzi to back off!

I'm not sure the gangsta look really goes with the Toy Story jammies :)

After a couple of fun days, I was finally getting out of my "woe is me" funk!  The life lesson for this week is probably pretty obvious:

Life Lesson #8--Contentment

The word content is defined as "the state of satisfaction or peaceful happiness".  That sounds so lovely doesn't it?  For some reason though, this is yet another quality that America seems to be lacking in.  It's always about what you don't have.  You need more.  That isn't enough.  You cannot be happy with that.  You must keep up with the Jones' for crying out loud!!  I do think it is natural for people to go through ebbs and flows of contentment.  That said, I think living in a state of satisfaction and peaceful happiness is something that eludes most.  Why?  I think it is because most people are depending on external possessions for their internal satisfaction.  Their happiness is deeply rooted in their things.  They want what they don't have--they covet.  Well, when that is the case, there really is always "a little bit more" to be had.  You can always have a bigger house, a more expensive car, and mo' money mo' money mo' money!  The rat race never ends when that is your perspective.  It creeps up on people--"If I just had ____, then I'd be happy."  No, you wouldn't--you'd just want more.  Look at Eve for God's sake!  She had EVERYTHING in the Garden of Eden--absolutely everything you could want.  Her and Adam were told they could have anything except the fruit from just one little tree...I think we all know how that ended.  The bottom line is, if you are getting your happiness and satisfaction from things, it will never ever be enough.  There are always more things to be had.  Things are taken away.  Things break.  Things will prevent you from seeking and finding true contentment.  The only true source of lasting contentment is in Christ.  There's nothing else to be had when you have Him.  He can never be taken away.  He is love, and He will never leave you.  He will provide you with everything you need.  I like what Paul has to say about it in his letter to his young friend, Timothy:  

⁶ Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. ⁷ After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. ⁸ So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

⁹ But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. ¹⁰ For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. ¹¹ But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.

So, in a spirit of contentedness, and because the content from the boys this week was very lacking, I thought I'd just share a few tidbits about the boys!  Tommy is almost 3.5, and Ethan is just a bit over 2, and here are a few things that Mommy and Daddy want to remember later!

Tommy, believe it or not, your favorite toy is a vacuum cleaner!  We sure do hope it'll stay that way when you get older.  While we are so proud of the progress you've made in your speech, there's one "word" you say that we just refuse to correct because we love it so much--"WHATTAMYDOOOO", which naturally means "What am I going to do" in an excited voice :)  Your favorite thing to watch in the world right now is....Elmo Potty...hmmm....go figure...and, stop pooping in your pants big guy!!  Your favorite movie remains "Toy Story 2", but I think Shrek is starting to give Woody and Buzz a run for their money!  Your favorite foods (that I'll allow you to eat!) are bananas, mandarin oranges, and pancakes.  You LOVE numbers like nobody's business, and you've been able to count 1-20 and then back down 20-1 since you were about Ethan's age.  We love how polite you are, and we just beam every single time someone compliments us on your manners.  You still take a 3 hour nap--Praise the Lord!!  You're still a little behind in fine motor skills, but you are a great listener and helper.  We love it when you encourage Ethan or try to make him feel better when he gets upset.  If your nearly 3.5 year old self is any indication of the man you will grow to be, we are very happy and proud parents <3

Ethan, our little Ethy-bear!  So, you weren't the cutest little newborn coming out, but now you're a little head-turner!  Your bright red hair and big blue eyes give you quite a unique look that seems to draw people in.  You're a natural leader--your big brother follows you around most of the time, despite the fact that you clearly aren't trying to lead him.  Your favorite toys are your plastic animals.  You take them out EVERY day, name each one, and then loudly proclaim what noise they make.  Daddy thinks your "cockadoodledooooo" is hilarious.  You say it in such a high pitch that sometimes you have to start over because your little voice can't hit the "doodledoo" part!  You don't require as much attention as Tommy, but when you do want it, you make sure you get it!  Your favorite movie is "Cars", and you love Elmo just as much as Tommy!  Your favorite foods are all fruits--we have to make you eat your other food first before we put fruit on your plate in fact!  You love fresh fruit of all kinds, but I think grapes are your favorite.  While Tommy prefers numbers, you're definitely a letters man.  You learned all of the uppercase letters in 2 days after your 2nd birthday thanks to a LeapFrog toy from Aunt Becky!  Even at this young age, we can tell that you're a passionate and charismatic soul--we hope you use your powers for good!!  We cannot imagine life without our little ginger that can always make us smile!

Tommy and Ethan truly are our pride and joy.  Our hearts and our house are filled with love.  God has truly given us everything we need.  We are blessed.

Week 32, Be Our Guest!

Okay, picking up right where we left off--Party Week, Part 2!  So, as I mentioned at the end of last week, the partying continued with my friend, Chris coming in for an entire week!!  We had a great first night just hanging out and catching up, but we were excited for Monday to roll around because that meant time for the BEACH!!!  I had just spent the entire weekend before preparing food for us to take to the beach, and of course, food for my 3 guys left at home!  I had to make sure they wouldn't starve for 3 days!  Leslie, here's what your produce inspired me to make!

Zucchini and fresh tomato baked ziti!

Mediterranean Pasta Salad for the beach!

Zucchini tots--yummy!!

Chris' favorite--fresh green beans with mixed potatoes and bacon...mmmmmm...bacon!

Whole wheat pancakes for the boys!

Davey's favorite--roasted veggie cheesy rice!

Avocado, cucumber, and cherry salad :)

Whole wheat zucchini muffins 

Whole wheat banana and blueberry muffins

Laura's favorite--homemade tuna salad with avocado and greek yogurt!

Blueberry greek yogurt cake!

Plum and nectarine crumble--excellent fresh out of the oven,
 but not so much after a couple of days!!

Okay, with that amount of food, I was convinced that none of us were going hungry this week!  So, Chris, Laura, and I packed up and headed out!  We obviously had to stop to see Grandma Jan on the way, since it's right on the way, and we were rewarded with a delicious lunch of homemade baked ziti, salad, and fresh peaches--YUM!!!  After looking at some OLD family photos (who are those adorable little toe-headed toddlers?!), we hit the road for Wilmington!  Once we got all settled in, we made our first fun stop at a local winery literally across the street from our hotel--Noni Bacca Winery!

having a sip of vino at the winery!

Laura--that looks like more than a sip?! :)

Chris loved this one tasting where you got to take a sip,
 eat a piece of dark chocolate, and then take another sip!

Good times haha :)

I don't always drink chilled dessert wines, but when I do,  I prefer them to be $80 per bottle!
(this was just a sample, but it was $4.50!)

Chris and LoLo in their matching-ish outfits!

Chris, I guess you're the only one old enough to remember those times--bahahahaha!!

Seriously, we all wanted one of these, but it wasn't for sale sadly :( 

That was soooooo much fun, that we decided to continue our first evening out by hitting downtown Wilmington!  We grabbed a cab (a cab that provided some very interesting conversation!), and had him drop us right by the river in the middle of everything.  Now, it was Monday night, so it wasn't what we would call "hopping", but we had a great time all the same!  We ate tapas at a really cool restaurant called Circa 1922, and then we headed to "Level 5", which is a rooftop bar on the fifth level.  We chose that place because it was supposed to be karaoke night, but we were pretty much the only ones there, so no one was graced with our lovely singing voices!

The 3 amigas arriving at the river!

Cool restaurant, but turn the dang fans on!

From left to right:  hummus, mixed beets and goat cheese, sesame tuna sticks, shrimp lollipops,
 mixed spanish olives, and boursin and mushroom bruschetta--YUMMM!!

The following morning, we decided to hit the beach....except that there was some kind of "tropical downpour" forecast for the ENTIRE DAY!  So, after a quick look out the window, we decided to hang at the hotel for a little while.  Laura and I went swimming, while Chris was a good girl and hit the gym!  Somehow, Laura and I accidentally forgot our running shoes--how did that happen?!  So, after our "workouts", we noticed there was a brief break in the rain action, so we decided to just give the beach a try--realizing that if we made it for an hour, it would be a miracle!  In fact, we were kind of scared to take our cameras out because the skies were so black, so no pics of the terrifying clouds!  We ended up making it about 30 minutes before the lifeguard bailed, and we decided to follow his cue!  Since we were already at the beach though, we decided to eat at me and Laura's favorite restaurant there--The Oceanic!!  Laura won the best entree award as we all had to taste her fish tacos--by FAR, the best ones I've ever had!

I didn't take this picture, but it's a cool depiction of the fact that the restaurant is literally right on the beach! 

Laura's fish tacos were to die for!!

So, we kind of took our time eating, and lo and behold, the storm was over by the time we finished!!  So, thankfully, the local meteorologists totally botched the forecast, and we were able to stay on the beach the rest of the entire afternoon!  I have previously been a little too scared to go into the ocean (ever since I was old enough to realize the potential dangers!), but I'm so glad I decided to jump some waves with Chris this time--it was so much fun!  I felt like a little kid out there, and it was just so nice to relax out there :)

The beach just after the rain :)

Haha, for some reason Chris wanted to lay down with her hand in the air like that! 

Our little seagull friend :)

That's me diving on in at the left--I think Chris is about to get owned! 

Haha--Chris where are you?!?!

Oh man, that was a close one for me, turned around just in the nick of time! 

Chris and I solving all the world's problems as we relaxed in the ocean :) 

I just had to pose with that incredibly large beverage that I barely drank haha! 

Don't we all look super cool in our shades?!

Laura and I might've gotten a little too much sun though, since we thought we might be out there an hour max, so we decided to just relax on Wednesday morning before we checked out--not to mention the fact that 2 of the workers at the continental breakfast called me a lobster!  So, we just kind of hung out, relaxed, and chatted our morning away until it was time to go.  We decided to eat a late lunch/early dinner at Cracker Barrel, and then we headed on out for our second stop at Grandma Jan's house!  My Aunt Joy and Uncle Allen were there visiting, so that was a nice treat to visit with them too!  Aunt Joy especially loved all of the funny Tommy stories--this one was her favorite I think:

Recently, Tommy has been waiting until we put him in bed at night to do his business (yes, we ask him repeatedly if he has to go, and we make him sit on the potty before bed--he pees at that time, but doesn't poop).  So, now we can kind of expect about 30-45 minutes after we put him down, for him to   call out "DADDDDDDYYYY!!!" And, I think we all know what that means :)  So, Davey gets just such a call the other week, and he goes up there preparing for the worst.  Once he enters the room though, Tommy just says, "Daddy, I dropped Teddy, help me!".  Relief washes over Davey, as he easily picks up Teddy and hands him back to Tommy.  Feeling in good spirits, Davey cheerfully asks Tommy, "Is that it buddy?  Is there anything else?", to which Tommy responds, "Aaaannnndddd this" and promptly points to his bottom, where there is a deuce just waiting to be changed by Daddy!

After some more good conversations in the car (there were a lot of good conversations this week!), we  went back to my house because Nolan and Laura had a house showing, and Nolan was at our place while they were there.  Well, get this--OFFER MADE!!  So, a huge congrats to Nolan and Laura for selling their house!!  On Thursday, Chris and I just kind of decompressed a little and hung out with the kids until we met my Mom out for dinner at Carrabbas.  On Friday, we took the kids the kids to Monkey Joe's to give my wonderful husband a break!  They had an absolute blast, and so did Chris (bahahaha--I think there were some bad flashbacks involved)!!

Chris is just loving life at Monkey Joe's!!

OMG--totally forgot to mention that Chris cut the boys' hair--so cute!! 

Tommy listening to calls for "cheese"...Ethan totally ignoring me :) 

I'd like to say Tommy was patient and waited for Ethan as it appears he is going to do in this photo, but he pretty much stepped over him 1 second later! 

On Saturday morning, Chris and I headed out to Stone's School Supply store in Cary.  Chris is a first grade teacher in Pittsburgh, but she's an hour and a half away from the nearest school supply store!  So, we literally spent 2 hours in there, and let me tell you--it was SO HARD for me not to buy anything in there!  A school supply store for a stay-at-home mom is like a candy store for a kid!  I was happy that Chris was able to find some cool things for her classroom though!  We met Leslie for lunch--Chris has known us both since 9th grade after all--what is that--nearly 20 years--holy cow!   So, it was nice for them to catch up a little too!  We ran by Old Navy, and then headed back to the house to get some dinner ready for Chris' family, that were due to arrive later that evening.  So, Rich (her husband), and Richie and AJ (kids) made it safely to our house around 7:30pm.  Some of you may recall the cute ring bearers from our wedding, well now they are 14 and 15!!

Those are some good looking ring bearers!!

Here's the 14 year old AJ cracking a smile :)

15 year old Richie was all smiles all the time!

We had a blast catching up with Rich and the boys--it was so so good to see them all again!  And, oh my goodness--Tommy decided to poop in the potty to impress everyone after some lessons from Miss Chris (whom he continued to correct me by saying, "Not Christmas--Chris!")!  After a late night at our house, we all got our acts together to get to my parents house for lunch on Sunday.  Dad grilled out burgers and hot dogs, and we had a good old fashioned cookout, just like we used to when Chris and Rich lived here--good times, good memories!  There may or may not be some kind of random bet between Rich and my Dad concerning the Pirates making the playoffs this season, but regardless, check out these amazing jerseys Chris and Rich brought for the boys!!  And, seriously, we already had the hat, but it's Ethan's favorite, and could he look more adorable?!

The boys wearing their new Pirates jerseys!

Tommy is pretty pleased with his new baseball jersey! 

Tommy is also pretty pleased with himself as usual! 

Our tired little Pirate captain!

How cute is he, seriously?!

Uncle NoNo donning his Pirates jersey (a lovely gift from his super thoughtful sister for his 30th birthday a few years ago!), even though he had no idea the boys just got some too!

They also got the boys Pitt shirts for the future, as well as some very thoughtful giant hand clappers that aren't at all annoying for Davey and me (just kidding, they love them so we love them!!) :)  Before it was time for the Boeh's to continue their vacation in Hilton Head, we had to take a few family pictures for keepsakes!

AJ and Chris making some homemade salad dressing for the cookout! 

Richie and his Mommy snuggling--hope for the future!

Rich and Nolan talking baseball

AJ's sexy pirate pose--watch out ladies!

Richie says he doesn't need any props to look good! 

The Boeh men--not too bad Chris!! 

hey, they're all wrestlers--what do you expect?!

Haha...hmm....what happened here--the parents seem pretty pained by this whole family picture thing! 

Ahh, they just needed their new stowaway with them!

The Hayes family and spouses!

Tommy gets in on the action because he didn't take a nap!!
 Ethan was snoozing away like a good boy! 

And with that, it was time for the Boeh's to get on the road to Hilton Head :(  It was sad for us to see them go, and Chris even shed a few tears as Tommy tried to get in their van with them and "go to the beach!".  As predicted, Tommy has asked several times already this week, "Where's Chris go?".  Hopefully we'll get to see them all sometime soon again!

Life Lesson #7:  Perspective

So, this kind of leads right in from last week as well.  Choosing wise friends has all kinds of positive ramifications down the line.  One of those is seeking wise counsel.  As I said, we had tons of great conversations this week--something I love doing!  It was really cool though because, even though Chris and I are in different stages of our mothering lives, I really think we were able to help each other out just through basic conversation.  It is always so helpful to glean advice from someone who has actually "been there, done that".  In my case, Chris is the mother of 2 sons who are 16 months apart--pretty stinkin' close to my situation, except that she's been through the younger years already--BONUS!  So, she was able to give me some fresh perspective on dealing with the boys.  Sometimes it can be so hard to see past what you're in the midst of dealing with every single day.  It can really help to have someone on the outside looking in to give you a fresh take on things.  Specifically for me, I realized that I can tend to not be patient enough in letting the boys figure things out for themselves.  For instance, I tend to just yank their clothes on and off instead of letting them struggle through it.  I'm in it every single day, so to me it was just easier to do it that way.  But, looking at it anew, Chris was able to encourage me that Tommy could do some of those things by himself, and that it would make it easier on me once he got it down pat, and so it has!

Now, on the flip side, how could I possibly have provided any perspective for Chris and the boys since I am younger than her?  Well, it just so happens that Richie and AJ are very good wrestlers, and I was a pretty good athlete back in my high school days!  You wouldn't necessarily think it, but there are all kinds of issues and decisions to be made concerning sports.  They play both for their school teams and for a club team (kind of like travel ball or AAU sports down here), and sometimes they are taught different things by different coaches, not to mention the different skill levels of the coaches!  Most of the time, a travel team coach will be much more knowledgeable and more "hard core" than a school coach.  So, there are questions about how to deal with less knowledgeable coaches, or teams that are mainly there for fun instead of winning.  Both teams take up an incredible amount of time, so there are issues with that. Both boys have a desire to wrestle in college, so I hope I was able to shed some light on the reality of what that usually looks like (because it's not the fantasy most of us have in high school!!).  AJ wants to wrestle for an elite Catholic High School instead of their public school that isn't so great.  While it costs much more, he'd likely get a college scholarship if he did.  So, anyway, I was happy to explain situations I encountered in high school, travel ball, and college sports, and I think/hope I was able to provide some fresh perspective that they can use in their decision making!

The point is, I think it's always a good idea to hear other people's perspectives.  What harm can it possibly do?  In anything, I think it is wise to gather up as many possible ideas and solutions from multiple sources so that the most informed decision can be made.  The more information you have, the more informed and thought out your decision will be.  When true friends offer you their perspective, listen intently and be thankful that they are sharing their experiences with you.  Thoughtfully consider their advice and points of view as you strive to make wise decisions in your own life.