For Our Baby

Our sweet little one,

It has been only 5 short days since you officially left us, but two whole weeks since we knew something was wrong.  As I write this, your brothers are playing at Grandma's house, and your Dad and I are having an at-home date night :)  I'm so sorry we never got to meet you--you can't imagine all of the hopes and dreams we had already conjured up for you and our family.  Your oldest brother, Tommy, was so excited to meet you.  He used to give you a hug and a kiss every night before he went to bed.  Dad and I have tried to explain that you're in heaven now with Jesus, but the finality hasn't sunken in yet for him.  He continues to ask us when you're going to come, and he still shows off your nursery to guests in our new home as he proudly proclaims, "This is the baby's room!".  Dad and I so looked forward to your big brothers loving on you <3

I just wanted you to know how much we all loved you.  We always will, and we will never forget you--ever. You were worth every bit of anguish, every contraction pain, and every ounce I gained.  You are our child, and we love you just as much as we love Tommy and Ethan.  You had so many people who already loved you, and who couldn't wait to meet you.  These same people have been taking amazing care of Mommy and Daddy while we grieve your loss.  We grieve because we are so sad for ourselves--we wanted you so very much.  Yet, we are confident that you are in heaven with a perfected body that wasn't able to be realized here on earth.  We longingly await the day we meet you.

On Daddy's birthday, we decided on your name.  We kind of thought you were a girl, and if we were right, your name was to be Eliana.  We were going to call you Ellie though :)  If we were wrong and you were our third son, you were to be named Samuel.  Dad was going to call you Sam, and I was going to call you Sammy.  Both names mean the same thing--"God has heard/answered".  We prayed and prayed and prayed for your health, and so did so many others.  We wish more than anything that we would have gotten a different answer, but we did not.  The bottom line is--our family trusts in the Lord.  You didn't make it out into this world because your little body couldn't take it for some reason.  We thank God for giving us a child--one that is most certainly already with Him.  God did hear, and He answered.  We love you so so so much Sam or Ellie.

Love,

Mommy & Daddy