Monday, July 2, 2012

Week 26, A Hard Hitting Progress Report

So, here we are...Week 26...halfway through the year 2012.  It seemed fitting to me to analyze and review the goals I set out to accomplish in Week 1 and adjust and edit moving forward.  In the end, it seems that my initial three goals could be looked back upon as "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly".  I always think it's a good idea to set goals and/or make decisions, and then to come back and take an honest appraisal of their successes and/or failures.  As such, I've spent a good portion of this last weekend in purposeful thought--something that I haven't done in a really long time.  It might sound silly, but I think the pace at which Americans lead their lives is so incredibly fast that no one even has time to think...to reflect...to listen.  There is so little margin in our lives, that we rarely take the time to just BE STILL.  I think most people live with at least a low level anxiety that they might not even be able to put their fingers on.  There are others of course, who live in constant anxiety, who are constantly wanting, trying, or feeling that they must do more and more to keep their heads above water.  I just don't think that is the way God intended it.  I think being intentional with how we spend our time--prioritizing those things that are most important for us to do--and then accomplishing or executing our intentions is the only way to fight back and reclaim our thoughts, our time, and ourselves.  So, this post will primarily be working through what my priorities have been and what I decide they will be in the future.

Davey and I had a great chat last night as we were lying in bed, getting ready to go to sleep.  We were talking some about the pace of life, and how disconcerting it can be. There never seems to be enough time to do all of the things we feel we must.  Then, of the things we actually are getting done--are they the things that are most important for us to get done?  As a family, what do we think is most important?  Do we live our lives in such a way that our actions enforce our stated priorities?  Because, here's the thing--we're all smart enough to know what the "right" answers are.  If you're a Christian and someone asks you, "What's the most important thing to you?"  The correct answer is "God"--(God first, family second, others are next, and then finally yourself is the way it's supposed to go).  Yet, let's be honest people--how many people live their lives in such a way that they can honestly say God is the most important thing in their lives.  I know I haven't been, and I know we haven't been as a family.  It's a gut check.  It's hard.  It's me being transparent.  It is obvious to us that we haven't put God as #1 in our lives, and that is certainly what we desire to do.  Let me say this--we know our salvation is not in question--that is not what this is about.  We earnestly love God, we believe that Jesus died for our sins, and we thankfully have accepted His free offer of grace.  True belief in those things are all that is required to spend eternity in Heaven.  That said, we want to fulfill the purposes He has set for us here on this Earth in the short amount of time that we have.  Nothing is more important to us. 

Now, we must figure out what that looks like in day-to-day life.  This is not going to be an easy task, and I suspect it will be a fluid one.  One thing I do know is that God will get time from me every single day.  Back in Week 1, one of my initial goals was to "Listen to and/or read something everyday to help me grow in my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ.  I'd also like to start a prayer journal."  I am not proud to admit that I utterly failed at that goal--there's your "ugly" people.  I promise you this though--if I do nothing else the second part of 2012, I will be spending time daily with my God.  I had a bit of an "aha" moment as I was thinking earlier today.  A couple of weeks ago, I posted about a sermon from Andy Stanley that discussed the process and ramifications of "cheating" on your work instead of "cheating" on your family (in terms of quality time spent with both).  Today it occurred to me that I have been "cheating" on God in order to try and get everything else done on my to-do list.  I have spent daily quality time cooking, cleaning, hanging out with my family, trying to lose weight, and maintaining relationships with friends.  Now, all of these things are GOOD things, and, they are all things I plan to continue doing!  However, they are not what is BEST for me.  Something I learned from reading leadership/management books while I was working is that "good" is often the enemy of "best". Too often in life we miss the best by settling for the good. Wisdom is not only the ability to know the good choices from the bad ones, but also to know the best choice from the good ones.  When we take on several good choices, we have less energy and focus to put into the best one.  I am choosing God as the best choice in my life, and I am trusting Him to help me handle the rest.

So, let's talk about the rest for a little bit then shall we?!  First, a look back at my other two goals from Week 1.   We've already handled "ugly", so maybe "bad" won't be so bad??  Let's save good for last!  Coming in with a grade of "bad" we have the following goal--"Shocker here--lose weight.  I am hoping to lose 65 lbs in 52 weeks--an ambitious goal to be sure, but I think it's realistic."  Okay, clearly I'm not on pace.  Let me just go on ahead and update you since I've been too chicken to do so for over a month.  May and June were a disaster in terms of weight loss.  I gained...both months.  It's over....it's done with, but I had to admit it to all of you.  I had lost 18 pounds in the first 18 weeks of the year, and now I'm sitting at 14 pounds in 26 weeks.  Trust me, I'm furious with myself, but it's time to leave it in the past.  I have revised my goals, and I am back on the right track.  My new goal for the remainder of the year is to lose an average of one pound per week.  26 more weeks is 26 more pounds.  That would put me at 40 pounds lost for the year, and it would be the smallest that Davey has ever seen me!  I will save the last 20-25 pounds for 2013! 

The "good" goal from Week 1 was "keeping up with this blog!".  Finally, a success story...sighhhhhh of relief!  I've never kept a diary or a journal or anything like that for more than 2 weeks before this, so I wasn't really expecting to succeed on this one.  I'm so glad I did though.  My original reasons for starting this blog were basically just so that I could remember the cute things the boys said that I kept forgetting, to allow anyone who wanted to share a little piece of our lives to be able to, and to kind of put my weight loss journey "out there".  All of those reasons still hold true.  What I have realized though, is that this blog has been a huge help to me personally as well.  It has reminded me to be on the lookout for those cute moments from the boys.  It has prompted me to take pictures of them every single week.  It has forced me to review the week in earnest--no matter how great or how bad the week was--and to acknowledge that, in the end, the good has always outweighed the bad.  It has allowed me to relive precious moments as I write them down.  It has enabled me to see just how incredibly blessed we are as I occasionally look back on the memories we've created as a family.  Even right now, it is playing an important role in raw self-examination with the hope that it will play an even bigger role in self growth.  So, the blog will continue--now, you can all breathe a huge sigh of relief too--ha!

Looking ahead, in addition to the three revised goals above, I think I might add a couple to the mix. I'm not so sure they're very quantitative in their natures, so "goals" might not be the appropriate word to use, but they are things I'd like to do nonetheless.  One of those things is to have more margin in our lives.  There is too much "on" time, and not enough time for rest, thinking, reflecting, solitude, and stillness. So, moving forward, I'm really going to try to make the time for rest and rejuvenation.  The other thing I'd like to add is kind of a little present to my kids.  I haven't decided yet whether I want to include these in the blog or not, but it is probably the most logical place for them.  Basically, I want to share my thoughts and views with them.  Whether it's a lesson that I've had to learn the hard way, or something I learned from my time with God in prayer or through the Bible, something significant I read in a book, a quote from a poem or song, or just some basic tenets of  life that I believe--I want to share whatever knowledge and wisdom I have gained through the years with them.  I hope that one day they will be helpful in some way to them.  And, in the event that I am not always around for them, I want to leave at least a small written legacy for them.  I know for my good friend Winston, his Dad's words written to him and his brother Andrew in a special Father/Son journal meant everything to him after his Father's death when Winston was only 16. 

So, Life Lesson #1--Make Your Actions Reflect Your Words.  The way in which you spend your time is the greatest indicator of what is truly important to you.  If you find that the majority of your time is spent on things that aren't what you say are the most important to you, you need to spend some time to figure out why. You have to be intentional with your time--use it on the things that are the best and most important.  Be careful not to mistake urgency for importance, and not to sacrifice the best for the sake of the good.

So, for now, that is what is on my mind, and what is important to me.  I'm looking forward to a wonderful second half of 2012!  A recap of what really happened in Week 26--the boys were sick...again...all three of them...it was 105 degrees like the whole week...and I had terrible food poisoning for 48 hours and was literally concerned I might be dying...so much for an easy week!  I did manage to snap a few pictures though (don't worry--not of the food poisoning situation!), and what is a blog post without a few pictures of Tommy and Ethan?!


Look at my little ginger Schroeder on the keyboards!

Thanks for our cool new learning toys Aunt Becky! 

Ethan was CRACKING up playing with his new Elmo doll--thanks Olivia and Lucas!

We did make it out to the playground the day before the 100+ heat started.

My silly little man--I could just eat him up!

There's my big boy!

Peaking over the bend of the slide to make sure Mommy is watching!

"Heyyyyyy Maaaa!!"

I could stare at this picture all day--such joy in Tommy's face <3

There he goes again with that tongue sticking out mischievously! 

Tommy could seriously stay in the swings ALL DAY!



1 comment:

  1. So incredibly well-written, Emi! Everyone could learn a lesson from that. And cute pics as a bonus! :)

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